Oviedo Dwellers '11

This isn’t so much as a blog but a thank you to people on my trip. How they have shaped me a bit more. The group that became family.

I’m going to go through everyone...and with no order. Some will be descriptions and others will be how they helped me.

Nicole- I thank her for teaching me how to be interested when I wasn’t. For making things seem more fun than they were. Also, she has this non judging aroma to her. She made it easy to talk to her and just say whatever I needed to say. She warmed my heart.

Amanda- For being intelligent and sassy. She has this quite outer appearance but when you get  to know her, it is like a whole new world. She jokes, laughs, gets serious, and can just relax. I would love to talk about political issues with her.

Stephanie- I love how quite she can be. Though she knows when to say the right thing. She can be a lot of fun and knows when to. I enjoy her company even if its silent. I am sometimes intimidated by people with this personality. But I think it can teach you a lot about yourself. Because she listens when you talk.

Eric- I like Eric a lot. He can be awkward and say funny things. But it is entirely refreshing not having a guy who is always loud and saying something. Small talk or filling the void in the room isn’t always needed. He likes the meat of the story.

Tim- Tim is a great guy. He stands his ground and doesn’t let people even think of pushing him around. Easy to talk to about...anything. I wouldn’t say he is quite but I would say something like reserved. Not meaning beliefs but attitude. He doesn’t shout to the world what he is doing or saying but instead just does it.

E.B-She is delightful. She has her opinion and love it. I might not always agree but I love how she stands her ground. Life isn’t an obstacle to her but something to live...its encouraging.

Nait- He makes me smile even when I am down. He enjoys life...from what I can tell. The trip just wouldn’t be the same without him. He has his opinion but a lot of times keeps it to himself. I admire him and how he carries himself.

Kayla- She has to be the most intriguing person on this trip at times. In the beginning she was so quite but not because she was shy but because that is just her. Though once she starts talking...it is so great to listen to. I have enjoyed being friends with her and seeing her be comfortable with the group. She isn’t someone who just lets all her secrets out on the table but observes and if asked she will tell you to a certain extent.

Grant- He loves to dance. He loves to see everything he can see. He loves God. Definitely a great guy. Oh and he loves to talk about religion. :]

Anne- At times we rub against each other and other times we seem to be so connected. I’m blessed to have her on this trip. I think it would be very different with her not here. I know I have to thank her for some of the things I left behind in my old self. She knows her limits and she also knows what is most important in life, most of time. She’s pretty special.

Mag- Interesting. Life of the party at times. Caring for so many people. And of course late to class. Everyone calls him a hipster, me too, and he denies it. It might be because its a label? :] Anyways, he has a very kind heart.

Sarah- I haven’t had a lot of chances to get to know her but from what I have. She is sweet and kind. Gives this calm and collective feel to the air. In our Bible study I enjoyed listening to what she had to say. I feel comfortable around her.

Blair- I like her a lot. She has a strong personality and isn’t afraid of showing it. I love her zeal for God and for her love of Spain. Encouraging. She just makes things a bit more exciting.

Russell- At times I would of punched him...but we all know he is just like a teddy bear. The day we went to Gijon together with Mag is one of my best memories in Spain. A guy worth getting to know.

Aaron- As much as he can get under my skin...I enjoy having him in the group. I think he spices things up from the norm.

Hannah- I wasn’t sure what to expect from her because when we first met...it wasn’t anything special. But through these months I have respect for her. I appreciate our friendship. It isn’t forced or awkward but relaxed and easy.

Tyler- I love this guy. He has a heart of gold and has grown so much on this trip. I was sad to see him go but knew it was what he had to do. He is certainly turning into a man of God.

I do not write this to show off or make people say something nice back to me but to show that our group was certain different. Our personalities are all different. Some of us click better than others, some us would rather be on our own more, and some of us where right in the thick of it. We became a family. With all our different attributes it made what we all needed. I can only speak for myself but as I look over our group I think it stands true for all. I have no idea what will happen when get back to Calvin. Or even when we get back to our own families. How will we react on the path or when we have to introduce them to our closest friends at Calvin? I have no idea because I just spent 3 1/2 months with the same 17 people.

I pray that I don’t differently when they see me with other people. Why? Because who I am in Spain is the person i wanted to become. I’m healthy...and working towards being a better person. A person in glorifying God.

post from the heart

A post from my heart.
Something I need to just express. This may be at the edge of being a journal entry but my heart seems to be conflicted.
I couldn't seem to figure out why I wanted to go home. Some friends in my group have said they are terribly sad to leave. I wondered why because I was so excited to leave. I haven’t had much time to address the issue but I figured out why once the words were vocalized. When I return home my niece or my sobrina will be born. My eyes start to tear up. I assume many reasons why my eyes tear...and then it hits me. Or more so, it sits right beside me like it will till the day I die. My mom won’t be there and neither will I until the 31st. How angry I get at..the air...for that. How much she is needed. I want my brother to have her there because I know I won’t have her there either. She needs to be there.

I experienced so much in Spain. I saw history and felt it at my finger tips. I brushed up against a Roman construction. I stepped into 3095729370 cathedrals and saw Jesus presented in so many different ways. I heard the words of Spanish enter my ears and then out of my mouth. I kissed in Spain and then became friends. I learned to love to go shopping and never knew I liked it so much. My lips tasted sidra from Asturtias and the cheeses that tingle your tongue. I tried with endless attempts to communicate in Spanish with a Spaniard that knew no English. I became friends with people that I hope I never lose contact with.

I feel too much at times. I get stressed out easily. Though Spain, my Spain experience, has taught me to go against that. Lead with reason. Stress gets no one to no place. I wonder at times if I have changed enough for my friends and family back home to realize. I want it so bad to be noticed because when I left...I didn’t enjoy that person much.
I know though that “communicationaly” I’m drenched, exhausted, ringed out of...it. Everyday I struggle with expressing myself in Spanish fully. I have too many pride issues. If I can’t say it right...I won’t say it at all. I’m so dumb sometimes. Though I am trying to get over that. It will help a lot next spring I suppose.

Tomorrow marks tres dias. The biggest concern I honestly have on my mind is how to pack. Where do I fit the gifts? The sidra for christmas and the wine for my dad. Or how about the clothes I bought myself? I’m not sure. (this has changed but I still thought I would include it)

But where does God fit in all of this? I’m craving an embrace by him. I’m craving an american church. I really am. The frustrating thing about this trip is not being able to understand the things that I really need. Like church services or doctors...Though love comes in different forms. I can sense it or I can even feel it. The arm, the shoulder or the smile that says everything.

The other day I thought I needed comfort from human being. I thought they would have all the right answers in the way they touched me or talked to me. I believed that nothing could go wrong or be wrong with this concept. I noticed I started to put them before God. Before God’s comfort. I noticed I was being selfish. My friend heard terrible news the other day and here I was sinning. Putting doubts on God. Sometimes I think that since I am so far away from the States...I am also so far away from God. Not true. He is always as close as my own heart beat.
Though from all of this I have come to the conclusion of what I am about to share next.

Today I noticed that I need a woman figure in my life. Someone to put energy and care into my life like my mom did. I need that example. Just someone to point to that scripture of truth. Out of complete impulse I applied for a Mentor at my College. As the days go by I notice the changing of the colors. The leaves have turned and fallen. The weather changes and we adapt to what it is. Extra layers, an umbrella, and warm foods and drinks. As my days change, I need to start adapting to it. I need to start ingesting those warm words and warm guidance. I need a spiritual leader again.

I have gotten a lot closer to my dad from the past summer and the time I have been out of the states. He has taught me a lot but not as much as my mom would. Well, I haven’t learned it from a woman’s perspective.

This trip I have been on has taught me a very solid thing. People that have no relation to you can become your family. They can guide you and be with you. They can even love you like their own. Of course you might feel a different connection with your family but maybe its time to let walls down. After being at Calvin and now being in Spain, I have learned that. Its simple but oh so precious. I hoping that the decisions I start making now will reflect this relationally.

I always talk about what I need or what God showed me...or how I want to change. It is important to tell you why. If you are reading this and have read my other blogs and my other writings. You know then that I have been on a big journey. Discovering myself and maturing. I talk a lot about what I need to do and also what God has shown me because I want to help others. I want to be qualified to help others. To listen to sorrow and listen to joys. I want to be there for the weak and there for the strong. I want to bestow God’s love on them. I want to share my journey...my life...my will with others. Maybe to be an example or to show that we all struggle. That I certainly keep on sinning. I pray for my life to be an influence on the people around me. To direct them to the Father. I don’t always practice this I have to admit. I’m trying. I have 4 days left here. Trying to make the most of it. Take care.

12-12-11...second to last Spain posting.

  I have these mixed emotions about leaving. I feel that once I step off that plane into San Diego...my life is forever changed. I will be forever changed. I can't even remember myself 3 1/2 months ago. Why? Because life has turned from viewing it so vast and long to so short and explorable. I feel as though I can see into the future, somewhat. Some call it growing up...I call it realizing again and again that actions, words, and choices have consequences or certain outcomes. Like the last kiss you gave...was is just a goodbye or was it something more than that? Did you realize that maybe it was just for comfort rather than a form of a greeting.
  These months seemed like a incubation container. Putting 18 people in the incubation of Spain. Will some hang close together for warmth or will some find their own warmth or will others hatch. This sounds like a far fetched analogy but watching my group form as been interesting. Some of us and most of us clung to each other. Others searched for spanish friends...some blossomed in Spanish without knowing it.
  I'm in my last days here and I am ready to see family and friends. Though I'm deeply sad to go. Sad to never see this place again or that being a huge possibility. I sit here trying my best to studying my two exams. How I ache to be in the library where once you enter...it could be hours till you step outside. I need that solid or maybe that familiar escape from reality. I feel like I am being split into half. I yearn to be home for Christmas and still get the hang out Christmas without my Mom. Though I also yearn to stay here and maybe alone, apart from my American friends. Every time I talk to someone from the States, they always say how much they miss me and cannot wait till I am home. I listen to them and I yearn for them to say it.
  Secretly I wish Spain wasn't a plane ride away. I wish it was a drive, a roadtrip. Though it wouldn't be the same Spain I know now. I remember first getting ready to come here. Someone mentioned it is a lot like the States. Just because they speak Spanish doesn't mean they live like South America. I took that to the file cabinet in my mind. Stored it away and hoped I would see Spain in my own eyes. And then I started to realize they were right...though they weren't as Westernized as South America as become. Their Spanish was different and when (and if) they spoke English it had a British accent to it. Although, I saw and heard their conceptions of the West...and it all comes from our TV shows, movies, and who is our president at the time. They knew of what our prom was...our yellow school buses...our burgers...the music we listen to...and our forefathers, who really aren't as old as we thought.
  I'm sure once I get back to the States I'll have this strange form of culture shock. Driving from the airport to my house...noticing the change in landscape and the smell in the air. Being consuming by the noises and the mass amounts of English being spoken. I think hearing English everywhere will be the most shocking.
  Right now I apologize for being horrible at texting and calling. I'm going to be completely bad at getting back to people. Don't be a fended if I turn off my phone from the numerous texts and calls.
  This might be my last entry though I hope to post another towards the end of the week or the weekend. I will recall on last adventures. Most likely be tearing up while writing the last posting.
  I'll surely miss this place...specially my host mom who recently handed me a bar of chocolate to help me study. :] wowzers.



  I didn't write about the hike we took last Saturday. So I'll briefly mention it. We took glass cable cars up to the top. The walk down took us app. 3 hours to get down. It was so cold the first 2 hours and more of the hike. On the way back from the hike I asked Anne if she had a good day. She said she had a great day and then asked me. I said it was alright. I think I was phased by how much I'm going to miss these kinds of hikes. Seeing these things almost every other week...I also felt pretty phased by the fact that these group of friends I have share Spain in common with me. We share this experience together. Though when we get to Calvin we will go back to our groups of friends...I hope we stay in immediate contact because I have grown to love each one even if I talk to more than others. We have a bond.
  I think this week I'll pray...I'll pray for study breaks...people breaks...life breaks...spanish breaks. For experiences like this to never be forgotten.

P.S. This is Nicole...pretty amazing person.

Barcaaaa!

This trip to Barcelona...

   Since I have time on my hands than most of group on the trip, I thought I could write my blog a bit more developed. I usually write it has a free write. Just going by what is off the top of my head or what I have been feeling for the past week or so. 

As I seat on a bus with my fellow companions, sleep is at the utmost importance to me for several reasons. To keep up with everyone else when we have rest stops, to get better most importantly, and I’m plainly tired as hell. The trip to Barcelona from Oviedo is around 12 hours so there is plenty of opportunities to sleep, or so I thought. The seats are so incredibly uncomfortable. When my dad got surgery on his shoulder, my brother Britt and I had brought him and waited for him. It was the longest day I have experienced. I fell asleep on a stone bench for an hour or two. These chairs have a similar feel to them as the stone bench did. 

   I’m at aw that I can come on this trip. Seriously, all of those who have been praying for my strength...thank you. I have been reading articles, talking to people, and listening to spanish versions of what mono is. Being in a foreign country puts a stress on becoming more knowledgable on whatever virus you have. One thing I haven’t been doing is receiving a lot of hugs. Thursday night my friend Mag got a gig at a bar to play some songs. It was my first outing in a week and seeing mostly everyone in a long time. People were ecstatic to see me but weren’t to hug me. It put a weird feeling on my heart though I understood why. 

   Although, one person that seems to not be afraid and more into making me feel alright is Mag. He made me bean ‘n cheese burritos, his Mama made me various things, bought me juice, and made me feel...alright. People’s characters show through when you are sick and when you are miles upon miles away from home. And so does your character, show through. Thursday was the first day were I was ready to go home. Sick of being sick. Mad that I had to feel this way in Spain and especially in Barcelona. (I’m starting to think this blog might be a bit longer than the rest...haha) 

From the feelings I was exerting....I asked if Kelyn wanted to skype the night before I left. She mentioned something that I would like to share. Nothing personal just huge factors for this entry. She said that I am never content whatever I go. First in SD, then in Michigan, and now in Spain. I told her she has a point and then I couldn’t figure out why I kept feeling this discontentment. I figured it out on the bus today. I miss people. Extraño a mis amigos. I want to be a thousand places at once and I can’t. For thanksgiving I wanted to be in Spain, California, and Wheaton, Illinois. I’m not content with a letter, a skype date, or some kind of facebook chat. Something I need to work on and something I will work on. 

  I pray to God that I can survive this Barcelona trip. If keeping up with everyone on some excursions is hard...how will 5 days be? We will see and I’ll update as much as I can. And we are finally here...feels like the first week of Spain. 

  We settled in our hostel which looks like some sort of boot camp for the young. Bunk beds, shared bathrooms and showers, and a sink in the room. I kinda like it. Though it makes me feel a lot younger than I am. This entire trip has made me felt a lot younger. I really don’t like it. I don’t want to get any older but I really do not want to get any younger. I’ve found my ideal age.

We took a night tour of the city and I survived. 

   I didn’t have time to put in miniature entires as the days went by. It was because I started to feel a lot better by the second full day we were there. God healed me. I’m still a bit tired through out the day but I’m not complaining one bit about it. It was truly amazing to see how God healed me slowly. The thing about God when He shows His face is that you don’t realize it tell after the matter. Slowly he comes through...like when the sun comes up and all of sudden it is daylight. 

    Barcelona...a place where I would love to live. From being in spain for over 3 months, I have come to learn that I enjoy the bigger cities than the farmland. The people and the sounds are just so abundant and breath taking. One thing that was incredibly annoying, was how if you went to buy anything...the clerks spoke English. Clear English. When I came back last night to my host family. It took me a bit longer to understand what my host mom was talking about. And she defiantly took a notice to that. 

As the days come to an end here...I’m starting to feel torn. Staying would be amazing. Leaving would also be amazing. I tend to find out that I am more of a relation person then ever before. I miss people rather than location. I used to think that the reason why I couldn’t move to Illinois after school was because there would be no beach, Mexican food, or sun. That isn’t the case...I would miss people that have made me the place I call home. So has the thought of moving to the mid-west cross my mind? It has and it keeps crossing my mind. Will Oviedo be a home also? The people I met do they make my home here? 

   The Barcelona memories will be with me forever. The postcards and Barcelona jersey will hopefully be in my possession for awhile. The choices I made on the trip will hopefully resonate with me. I hope to never lose site of what I was taught here in Spain. I almost quite writing my blog in the first month because it seemed more of a hassle then an enjoyable task. I mentioned it to my brother and he told...don’t you want to remember? To go back and be able to look back? I agreed and proceeded with my writings. I am so glad I did because I wouldn’t want to forget this time here. I have grown. The sickness I had might of been a terrible experience but it had to happen and I am glad God let it happen. 

Mono? Lord, really? otayy

So going to my last post...plans have def. changed. For the past 4 days now I have been in bed. I have been in bed sleeping, hacking up nasty stuff, and watching TV shows. Not to mention the insane sore throat I have. When I am alert I spend my time on Facebook or conversing with someone online. That idea of taking hold of Oviedo hasn't really worked out.
I went to the doctor yesterday and waited 4 hours. Let me explain the experience. I finally get into contact with my Prof. I have to meet her at the autobus station for some reason. So with me being half dead I asked my friend to walk me there. My Prof and I take the bus there. Get off and are completely lost...
We finally find the Emergency room. At first it was a totally breeze getting admitted. I started to think this was awesome. As we took the green line that lead us to the...WAITING room. One reason why I can't stand hospitals. They then again asked me questions and took my blood pressure. In the meanwhile my Prof is translated everything for me. Even though the nurse spoke English. She was so sweet. I loved her. I really did because she made me feel comfortable and at ease.
Then the thing that I dreaded. They took my blood...I've had blood drawn before but holy crap they took so much. Then I got an IV drip to top it off. Which in fact made me feel the best I had felt in days. After that I sat with my Prof listening to The American Story podcast. An hour later they brought me to this room that I swear could of been a interrogating room. A bit weird. Then she dropped the news...mono.
My world shacked for a bit because I knew exactly what it meant...me doing nothing for days on end. Finally we left after 4 hours.
I talked to my brother Blake and my dad that night. And my dad gave me some daunting news to my world. If I don't feel better as in better, than I did Sunday, Barcelona wasn't an option. My last excursion through the beauties of Spain. He also said it might be wise to stay home during January...I almost cried. Weird but I miss Calvin and in January I had some many things going. Two classes, my job back, and living in a house with out my dad for the first time.
So what is God trying to say? I'm not really sure at all. I'm confused. But this is life and he has it in his hands.
For this week. My plan of action. Is to sleep the whole day. Or least try. I'm terrible at sleeping in the day for long periods of time. And drinking tons of water. I currently possess a 1.5L water bottle. Drinking that baby twice a day or even more. My body will wake myself up to get a drink...its insane. I will most likely lose a bunch of weight. I haven't had coffee or soda sense last Wednesday. I haven't smoked a cig in over a week. Maybe this is God's way of telling me how insanely horrible my way of taking care of my body was wrong. I wouldn't doubt it one bit. As I proceed to get better...that will be my "motto".
I also have this terrible time of letting people take care of me other than my mom. I honestly taking care of so well by my mom when I was sick. It was like the all knowing mom syndrome. She would ask a question like, "would you like scrabbled eggs? That would make you feel better, uh?" And of course she was right. She took care of my body better than I did.
With the things changing at snap...I have to proceed to a healthier me for many reasons.
So my readers, pray that I feel better soon. Pray for my host mom has this might not be easy on her. Also, I hope to see my States readers soon. :]

So this last month I'm taking a hold of Oviedo and saying yes to God.

Tomorrow I reach my last month here. My last weeks. I have already planned out and sketched out what I will be doing. There are some gaps but gaps are healthy. With this last stretch of Spain I have some decisions to make.

How will I react, feel, what will I want, do, in these last weeks? Shall I stay in this contact mode with people in the states? Or will I again get consumed by Oviedo. I'm picking Oviedo for various of reasons. I'm stepping back from this constant mode of contact with people. I'm honestly exhausted by it. I want more than a chat with you and more than a smile from you.
The only person that I tend to come away from it in a more content feeling is my Dad. I know he will always be there. I look forward to skyping him once a week. In fact I'll cancel things to just talk to him. He is home.

Other people either make me feel sad inside or are just plain not in contact with me. So in this last month I'm refraining from the usual stock on facebook. The logging into facebook chat is now coming to an end. Giving a healthy separation from the other world I seem to be craving.
To be honest with you blog readers...I'm tired of trying to skype or get into contact with ones that seem to more than 9 or 6 hrs behind me. They seem to be more like weeks behind me.

This last month is my month. My month to get my fill of what God can still teach me here. This thing called internet is beginning to be annoying and destroying my ability to fully be captivated by Spanish.
Today I woke up this morning and got ready. I found myself with 20 minutes left to despair. I was overjoyed because I knew what I wanted to do with that time and that was to pray. I feel like in those 20 minutes I prayed for my needs and everyone else I could think of. I prayed for more nerve to just speak spanish to my host mom. I did just that tonight at dinner. And for 10 minutes we held this crazy bond that I never knew could happen. We related.

In that moment I knew I have changed. I knew in my demeanor I have changed...I knew in my character that I have changed. I knew in my thought process I have changed. Some know this and others don't. I used to be really depressed and I had no idea what to do about it but just die in it. Now I feel as though that person is far gone. It is like I am on top of the mountains in Los Picos de Europa and at the bottom, in the valley, is the old me.

I don't know how life works but I do know that once you take a hold of it and say yes to God...it's simply breath taking. So this last month I'm taking a hold of Oviedo and saying yes to God.

Picos de Europe

This weekend...
I think it was a break through. Everything I seemed to be striving for felt victorious this weekend. I'll explain.

I went to Picos de Europe in Covadonga. This small city is so important to Spain because this is where the Reconquest started. Amazing huh? Well, that was just a side story for some reference I suppose. Anyways, we took two hikes...one on Saturday and the other on Sunday. The two hikes were drastically different...

After we got done with the first hike the people I was with got separated from the rest of the group. We had no idea where they went. The location of where we were is also very secluded so there isn't a store just a few restaurants that close quite earlier. My friends and I were so hungry, mainly because we thought there was going to be a store there where we could buy us some food. There wasn't. We started looking for a place to eat but there was nothing. We called someone in the other group and they gave us vague directions...To put our emotions in more into perspective. We walked around dirty, hungry, and tired in the talk for an hour. All are not good combinations. Most of us, or all of us...were quite frustrated and angry towards some people in the other group for not waiting for us or calling us to tell us where they were. When we finally got to the restaurant that was open...the guy who worked there said it was closed.
I started to feel so angry and almost tormented. My past response to this would be cussing or getting so enraged...I tried to cuss. The words felt so unbearably foreign to my tongue. Like I tasted soap in my mouth. Then I knew that all this work I have been doing myself was paying off. God gave me this weird reward. A distaste for the common way society says I should react.

Saturday night I was so excited to sleep. I was going to sleep in a big bed with E.B. The night seemed so incredibly needed. The night came to sleep and E.B was sick. She coughed the whole night...not fun for sleeping, for the both of us. I found myself rubbing her back in my half a sleep state. We slept through my alarm. As soon as I woke...I knew there was breakfast for me downstairs in the hotel we stayed in. My friends this hotel was gorgeous and one of a kind.

The view from outside

Quickly I put on some clothes and came down to a fantastic breakfast. All I could think was..."THANK YOU GOD...for providing endless cups of coffee." We took a cab to our central and starting point of our hike. The hike took in totally 6 to 7hrs. 

There was this point in the hike that I thought I had enough and was so ready to give up. In my past behavior I would of put on some type of attitude showing I was hurting and had enough. I would of basically acted as a brat. I felt it coming on and quickly I just shouted to Anne that I needed some encouragement. She shouted back in a prayer to God. How perfect was that! I was so completely thankful for that moment. By the time we reached our destination, God defiantly showed His power and His might. He even gave me the encouragement to reach the top and actually see over the top. At the top the winds were well over strong. If I didn't keep a good stance at come points I would of fallen down the hill...because of the wind. At first I was so scared. I'm scared of heights....and no one knows this but I am about to tell the world I guess...I'm more terrified of strong winds. I remember when I was in elementary and the Santa Ana winds would come, I would be so scared that they would knock down a tree or something. I told my mom this when I was little and she told me, "me too." (secrets are just exploding out on here, haha) So I was terrified, SO scared. I almost didn't even go look. Though I felt a pull on my heart to see it and an embrace that I cannot explain but just say God. I put my backpack somewhere safe and went. I saw God's glory reign high. I felt and heard His breath of the wind all around me. I saw the colors of Fall and the mighty rocks that held up the mountain. Nothing was so terrifying and beautiful. I really couldn't stand the mixture. Because it made me so overwhelmed. It was like God had revealed Himself in an entirely different way. 

May I remind you that if you looked down...it was straight down.

This weekend was exhausting and I am still tired from it. It was more needed than I knew. To think that God will still be as amazing as that experience or even better, is more than words can say. I'm blessed.