I have been hearing him ever since I prayed that prayer

Everyday my attitude changes and evolves into something different. I am loving Spain and specially the city that I am in. I have hit some little road blocks but really nothing major. Tuesday we started Spanish classes and it was scary but so great. I have classes 2hrs a day, 5 days a week. Its like taking an interim class every month. My Profe is quite amazing. He speaks a little English in the class since there are some students in my class that have never taken a Spanish course in their life. Though, very soon the class will be solely in Spanish. Today was probably one of the better days. Every day is great but today was just so amazing. Went to class and on Thursday and Fridays I only have Spanish. After class my friends and I hung out for a bit until it was time to go home for lunch. Once I got to my piso, flat, I noticed that I left my keys and my iPod at school! I quickly called my friend Mag up. He lives closer to school than I do. He saved my life at that point. My possessions were found and by that time I just decided to go out for lunch. Had this lovely meal with Mag and Hannah. The waitress kept laughing at us because we weren't being too clear in what wanted...our Spanish is still muy mal. After lunch I met up with some friends and Profe Slagter to find some books.
All I wanted was a Spanish workbook because in my Spanish class there is no homework since we meet every day for 2 hours. I didn't find anything I liked and to be honest I was irritated for some reason. I just wanted more time by myself looking at the books. But I couldn't get that since I was with a bunch of other people. So I decided to wait. To hold off and see if I liked anything else in the day. I ended up buying a sketch book. I haven't really been drawing. I just fell out of it. For some reason I get discouraged in my drawing.
The next store we went to our group downsized...and in this children's book store I found something. The Lion, the Witch, and Wardrobe in Spanish. Something so familiar to me becoming strangely different. My excitement in me rose. I haven't really been connecting excitement with Spanish. I have no idea why. But my learning to read this book gave me the excitement I needed.


What God has been teaching me.
A lot of times life for me involving God is like cracking a code. I have this problem. I need to solve it. I can solve it two ways. What my flesh wants and then what the holy spirit wants. I seem to crack the code before I even understand it myself. Once I do, I can feel the Reign of God flooding down on me. I feel the warmth of His hug and the strength in His voice has He tells me, "You've done well, faithful servant." I have had the chance many times this week to look back on what Christianity looks like from afar...the terminology is strange, the church attendance seems too much, the commitment is exhausting, it seems like a lot of work just for some God, and its a religion. I have also had the chance to express why I believe in a God. Also the chance to question why I keep to my faith. I am so thankful for the experience. I didn't think God would test me as much as he is right now. I thought it was going to be a struggle for me to keep faith in God here. I thought I was going to grow as a good person but not in my faith. I thought I was going to be drunk a lot. I thought Spain was a time away from "real" life. That is not AT ALL what my experience has been like. So DRASTICALLY different. I feel alive in different country unlike I do in the States.
When my Mother wasn't too sick yet, I prayed to God to test me. I prayed to Him to test me in a way that I would fall more for him. That he would chisel away the disgusting things in my being. That I would become his masterpiece.
                                [I haven't thought about that prayer again until today.]
This morning when I thought about it, I cried. I cried tears of happiness. I felt the chiseled pieces on the ground. I felt the smooth parts of my heart and also felt the roughness that is still being worked on. In bible study people have been talking about how the heard God...also in youth group last week. I was stunned...THEY HEARD GOD! LIKE THAT!?!?! I WANT TO TOO! How dumb of me...I have been hearing him ever since I prayed that prayer. The love of God is swallowing me up and I want all of you to see it.